You might be surprised to learn that our seemingly random blog has an underlying philosophy and structure to it. It's pretty simple "be positive about stuff". Even if it's bad. Or if it's so bad you can't find anything nice to say, just don't write about it.
But when we saw this "ad" for Fancy Feast cat food, we were instantly depressed by its utter vapidity. And, following our own philosophy, we weren't even going to say anything about it – just let it drift off into internet oblivion. But then we thought, hey, this is so bad, we must be able to find something good in it. Mustn't we?
If you made it through that without tearing your own face off with a nearby HB pencil and strangling yourself to unconsciousness with it, then well done you. You may also have yelled "HOLY SHITTING SHIT WHAT THE SHIT IS BRUCE BOXLEITNER DOING IN THIS SHITTY SHITFEST?", as we did. So yes, it's pretty awful. And very, very, very, very, very long (though this is the "Extended Cut"). And it's just totally meaningless. I mean, the guy built a room for the goddamned cat? What? And why can't we hear what they're saying for THREE FUCKING MINUTES? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? IS ANYONE IN THE WORLD THIS HAPPY WITH THEIR UTTERLY POINTLESS EXISTENCE? Um… ok, enough of that. Now, on to…
Well, what about the idea? A man wants to marry a woman and he meets her family and he sees she likes cats so he gets her a cat and builds the cat its own room and asks her to marry him and the cat and then they move in together and then the cat that they're both married to is hungry so they get it some catfood from the cupboard and it's the only thing they've unpacked properly as they were moving in together because they're married to the cat that has it's own room. Jeez, what's not to love about that? It's practically Shakespearean – more Midsummer Night's Dream, admittedly, but Shakespearean nonetheless. Yeah? No, didn't think so.
Can we give it a higher purpose then? Is it a study in nihilism? Or a stunningly clever comment on the pointlessness of upper-middle class white people's lives in modern Middle America? No, it's not is it.
The cat's pretty cute though. And as most of our readers will know, we do love fluffy animerls here. So maybe that's the good thing about this ad? Bit tenuous.
The poster in the background here is pretty cool: Aside from the cute cat and the nice poster, we can safely say this challenge was too much for us. This ad has no redeeming features. And the music sounds creepily like the 2 Girls 1 Cup music, just to cap the whole thing off. Good god. Challenge FAILED